Newsflash...

This just in! Those stupid fucking fat blocking pills do not work.  I do not care if they show you a little science experiment with some oil in a glass of water being absorbed into little bubbles then magically falling away.  It's bullshit. I've tried them. I know it is simply a huge waste of money. Some brands may say change your diet, eat lots of chicken and lots of green vegetables, take these pills and watch the pounds melt away. Well supposing you are not stupid you will know that its obviously your change in diet thats making you lose weight, not the fucking pills.


There are also those that claim you don't have to change anything about your diet.  "Eat all you want and take these!" These pills state that before the fat is carried through the bloodstream  between 20 to 30% of it will be engulfed by these "special enzymes" causing it to no longer be absorbable into the cells and you will shit it out. So lets do the math.   20 to 30% of 50 grams of fat (regular poutine from New York Fries) is still around 37 grams of fat which is more than you should be eating for the entire day. Even with taking the magic pill all that fat will still add to your cellulite. Get it? Ya ok then, STFU.  

This sex kitten used fat blocking pills
to lose weight.  They worked wonders,
can't you tell?

This product's market is obviously targeted towards 1 of 2 kinds of women.  Those who were skinny their whole lives and have now popped out some kids, lost their metabolism, put on weight and don't know how to deal with it. Or, there are those chunkers with no metabolism, heavy since the day they submerged from the big V, who constantly complain about being soooo fat but are never willing to do anything about it.  "Oh I hate being so fat! It's not fair!", says Marie Jo with a pouty face as she shoves the last piece of her donair pizza into her mouth.  Get a fucking grip Marie Jo, put the pizza down!


These people are totally uneducated when it comes to health and nutrition.  They are oblivious to the fact that you actually have to DO something.  That you have got to make a change in your lifestyle and actually stop eating all the fast food. No magic pills will work, period.

As my friend Nicole would say, "like, WTF is wrong with these people? Nothing works except good, old-fashion hard work".  Well said Nicole, well said.  So, next time you hear someone talking about "these awesome pills I'm taking, you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight!" please point your finger in their face and tell them they are fucking retarded.