Pazzo Pazzo

So, I went out for dinner on Friday to a lovely restaurant called Pazzo Pazzo. It is a quiet small restaurant.  Very nice setting for a romantic date.  The food is absolutely delicious there.  If you feel like you deserve a reward because you have been doing really well with the healthy eating this is the place to go. But, if you are still learning, and if having Pazzo Pazzo will make you fall off the wagon and you are not yet strong enough to climb back on, please do not go there.  It is definitely not worth the feeling of failure.

This is what I ate:

Carbonara 

Pasta sautéed with chopped bacon, Italian sausage, mushrooms, garlic, parmesan cheese and eggs. 

Topped with fresh basil. 

This is also what I ate:

Jumbo Pasta Shells 

Six shells stuffed with ricotta cheese and spinach topped with gigi sauce and Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.

Now I thought everything was all good.  I had some mild stomach pains but no explosive diahrea like I get whenever I eat at BPs.  *Speckles...* The rest of the weekend I didn't seem to notice anything major.

So Monday morning rolls around, I put on my pants and off to work I went.  They were tight.  I was pissed off.  I sat in my chair at work and looked down and my gunt was sticking out.  I kept pulling my shirt down and then every so often, out of the corner of my eye, I would see my gunt trying to pop out again!  WTF! What are you looking at??

Long story short, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.  

I have a man friend who I like and I said to him, "I know you think I'm pretty now but what did you think of me when I was so fat?"  His answer after rolling his eyes because, of course, I am asking a stupid question, "uhhhh I don't know.  I just thought, you are what you eat".  And I thought, "oh snap he's right! He's a genius!"  I ate like a savage beast back then.  Now every time I see a god damn fat person I think "hmmm I wonder what they have been eating to look like that?". Or wait, that's not true, I usually nudge the person I'm with and say, "I wonder what that fat mother fucker has been eating." as I shake my head at them.  God dammit Martha May, put down fried chicken! (for those of you who think I'm going to hell, I will see you there)

Perfect real life example, me eating the Pazzo Pazzo.  I ate it only once (imagine if I ate like that every day, heaven forbid!!), and two days later that shit was still stuck on my body.  I may as well just have taken a knife and smeared that creamy garlicky cheesy bacony sauce straight on to my gut (ok stop drooling).

Anyway, we will see what happens by Friday if I lose any pounds or not.  If I didn't I am bombing fucking Pazzo Pazzo so don't even bother getting excited about going there.

Tip:  every time you want to buy something fatty or sugary to eat because you're craving it soooo bad repeat the mantra in your head 'you are what you eat, you are what you eat'.  Imagine it going straight in to the fat cells on the back of your legs and making them bigger and BIGGER. Picture your cellulite growing and getting lumpier right before your very eyes!  That is what I do. :)

PS.  For those of you who are totally disgusted with the thought of my gunt, don't worry, so am I and that is why it won't be there for long!!!

PPS. "Life isn’t as serious as your mind makes it out to be." - Eckhart Tolle